pics from Jayden's 2nd bday :D
cant post myyuki, protected. AHAHA









another lonnng post here. wahahha\


18th march 2011
Went midnight movie with shiro yest! :D cos he refused to watch with me on tues, got me so mad. So i sorta force him into my plan. Hehheh. Right after my class i went eunos, and he ride us both to downtown. He dont knw the route to my class + highway is too dangerous for now. So yeah. Im still very tensed up as pillion :x when we were walking out frm the parking lot, he suddenly told me there's shooting star in the sky. I thought he's joking, like he always does. But when i look up... YES! IT IS THE LEGENDARY SHOOTING STAR! It is on fire. And part of it broke away and the light gets dimmer and dimmer as it flew passed. Omfg. Lucky! And just like anyone, the wish i made was to see another shooting star. Buahaha!! So funny. And shiro wanted his number plate to strike 4D. lols. We caught RED RIDING HOOD at 2340 :) the theatre is pretty cool. They have tables! Like those in our tutorial rooms. The show is great! Henry looks alot like NICHKHUN! Omg totally over him! Told shiro that he looks like nich and there's no response at all -w -

21st march.
Okay so i got my bonus so what? The amt is so fking little. Not even 2months. Like i say it is either my sup mark me down or our dept is doing real bad. FML. And now there's cashflow probs. Its been months since i saved the usual 600bucks for my schfees! Ever since sbl 'retrenched' me. .. Thought i am able to throw a sum into my savings account. Seem like that is impossible. Sigh. Anw found out from my freshie, whos a contract staff, earning effing 2k per month! And i calculated. My salary + bonus IS NOT EVEN HER ANNUAL INCOME. So seriously FML. The market outside is so good now! Wonder hows the length of contract! Tempted max! Lols.
Jump of topic. Shiro is so nice! Guess there's nothing much he can do too. He fetched me whenever he can! :) to and fro expo last fri, when i went to meet shar at expo. Loreal sales! Glee. I ring him up, and he'll fly to me. Haha! Its quite bad when there's rain. Cant wait for him to get his sponsored car license and he can fetch me ard :3 hehe.

Anw ifairy lenses new series are ALL SO PRETTY! Im so damm tempted to purchase them all. Well maybe i picked the wrong buyer, thou it is cheaper, looks like the waiting time is going to be real long. So i've decided to purchase more frm another fast spree. So i can wear them as soon as possible! Buahaha! (but recently no time to choose em..sad) tmr will be super busy. Cos i went on leave fri and today. Things definitely will get piled up. Zzz. It is already good enough that i didnt receive any sms or calls regarding work! It keeps haunting me. -........-

Micro mock paper is back. I scoped 17 out of 100! Already expected that i'll flunk it but i dint knw it will be this bad! I dint practice the tutorials and thats the end result. Haha! Most scared of micro, god! Anw i saw 2more papers on the table with almost the same marks as mine, guess tats the reason behind the ' extra free lesson' then? O.o

Was chatting with laura abt the photoshoots and told her abt the taiwan package shiro and i bought. And omg. I think we should go already!. But dont knw when! Sudden urge. Thou i know that i cant due to budget and size! Buahaha. And guess what? I found ido wedding on fb! Korean style photoshoots! Oh my! Super tempted! They are the photographers for all couples in WGM! Excitement! Lols.

It is 0119 now. Im a little too excited to go to sleep. Chatted with my freshie and am so glad that i getto know her. Its something that i cant express here, maybe when the time is right, i will. Just in case some bitch comes in here and read my post. My feelings now? I can finally see the light, that my surroundings are no in dullness and frustration. Am keeping this hope and wishing that it will come true.. Be possible and happen for me. Yes!!

22nd march.
Now the fear has surfaced. Fear of losing my glimpse of hope.

And seriously, i look like a devil, a greedy one beside the contented, angelic sharon. = ---= we're totally opposite. Sometimes i cant stand it... We're all in the same boat and she did not even complain abt the slightest thing. -.- easily contented. And yeah, sorry im so not contented and thats me. Wont change for anyone. Lols. Chatted FREELY with charles since his last day is approaching. Was shocked when we heard abt his resignation but yeah, it all makes sense :3 and the thing is, he pitied me. Yes, am really pitiful if you know the situation am in. if you're not experiencing it, it is easy to think positively, speak words of console. And he's good bcos he did none of that. Thanks huh! All i can say is people change. Drastic change, so much that you dont even know if you really know that person. So much that you dont even want to label that person as a friend or someone related to you.

Can my hope not die off?

25.03.11
Charles last day. Dint getto lunch tgt! He went to buy us deserts, something like chocolate cake with crusts. Haha initially we wanted to go pizzahut as farewell lunch. But later found out he isnt joining us! -.- so much for planning! And he's so busy teaching our new colleague so managed to give him short wishes + a handshake. And he went to shake my hands vigorously! Argh. Shd have send my words thru mail, but too bad, i went to shut down desktop! Buahaha.
Anw yest we went to parkway crystal jade to have lunch. Sorta like dept farewell lunch for him. Haa. And i bought a present for my sis! Which is rare! Lols! Bought a melody screenprotector, 19bucks. Mok and charles then went to buy koi. (:

It is mock exam style for there 2lessons of pobf! Tried 3ques today. Everyone left the class. -.-

And i got shiro to fetch me frm eunos again. Hoho. That asshole really skin itchy. Did not meet me yest, instead went to celeb ' getting bonus' with the colleagues. He shd then celeb with me and spend on me eh. =3 = buahaha!

Going to maple clinic coming mon. Its been decided. My back is getting worse. The dryness is spreading wth! Now even my upper back and shoulders are getting dry. Seriously fml. Argh. I need to get rid of it. The dryness is making my whole back so itchy. Damm :(

30th march.
I actually forgot abt my leave today! Wtf. See? Was so busy that it totally slipped off my mind! Zzz goin to talk to my sup tmr see if i can apply some other day... Can she be understanding? We will see.

And i went to maple clinic monday. Shiro was supposed to fetch me there! Cos it is famous for the long queue. And that dumb ass actually brought his black beaut to workshop. Told me he's installing his box and changing handle bar. Zzz. So rich? So i complaint that he did not spend on me. Not even a pair of shoe. haa. He's so late and unable to reach on time! So i rushed out myself. Took the bus that is slow like tortoise. So wanted to get off and flag a cab. But scared that there's no cab. So i dropped at the stop to interchange buses heading to tp. Luckily i spotted a cab and flag for it! Reached there at 630 zzz. And there's like 26people infront of me! Wtf. Was alone so i went twitter. Shdnt have done that? I received a heart aching news. JYJ CONCEPT CANCELLED IN SG. How can it be true! My jaejoong not coming anymore?? I want to see him! Was more like very shock and mass send smses. Lols. Ringed kelsey too. But she's in the theatres not knowing this news! After 20mins of chaos in twitter, they revealed that the cancellation is still unconfirmed. What is going on?!

Anw shiro reached at ard 730 with full black face. Can see how pissed he is with that workshop scvs. Zzz. I was still queuing for my no. at that point of time. -.- my no. was 27. Looked at his bike and i started cursing too. Paid 110bucks? To block his meter? He cant see any of the digital figures, be it speed or tank level. Wth man. Nagged for ard 15mins. He then try to readjust it himself and tryout if it is steady. Then we went tender best (: been so long!! Ate ribs. My fave :3 and guess what? We went back at 830 and? Guess the number. Like seriously? It is no.8!! Yes wtf. We cld have gone to tm shop or something! Zzz so we went up to his pig sty to pass time. And went back before 10. Should say lucky? The no. was 26 :D hee.

Okay. This is what the doc told me. That my skin is generic. [ONE LOOK AND SHE KNOWS!] super dry. Therefore i have to apply alot of oil to my skin. To lock the oil + moisture in. I cant bathe more than once per day cos water harms my skin. It causes evaporation which leaves my skin drier than before. I have to bathe in oil, apply oil 3times per day. More intensive at night. Not allowed to apply lotion because its water content is very high. Only allowed to apply oil on my skin. And must constantly keep my skin 'shiny'. This skin is killing my life -.- i hope it gets better and heal the scars on my back :( which is kinda impossible given current situation. Sigh. Anw the total bill is 83bucks! So much lower than what i expected :x and shiro foot the bill :D thanked him via text at night. And his replies touched me! He says that i've helped him so much in the past, helping him foot medical bills when he's sick. Esp the stingray incident afew years back. When i've money constraints i still fork out money to help him. [yes thats what i did! And i seriously dont rmb the amt] and he REMEMBERED HOW MUCH I HAD PAID FOR THAT TRIP TO THE CLINIC! He says it is 43bucks. Omfg. He actually remembered and did not forget my good to him! I thought he ady forgotten them. Lols. Super touched cos he's one damm good guy aye??

2nd april.
Was tricked by my sup on april's fool day! My brain automatic searched for survivor strategies. But sharon is again too angelic. She freaked out and on the verge of tears -.- afraid of changes. Lols. Anw i forgot all abt my leave on 30th. Too busy with closing! God. So applied 2half days coming week.

Went jayden present hunting last tues. Found the present but too big a size for me to hold as pillion. :( need to go get it myself. Sigh. Anw i saw pair of shoe frm mondo. Finding time to go purchase it :x

Went ivy's yesterday tried the so called laser thing to remote my pigmentation. The process is not painful. It is the bathing part that hurts the like hell! Omg. Hope it all heals well... Shiro came to fetch me :3 he travelled thru expressway! And made his way u ivy's blk safely + smoothly. :D then i lead him to amk central. Quite a mess! I know the way but somehow abit mixed up and we ended up at my hometown, amk ave10. LOLS. So its like going a big round :x and amazingly he's not pissed or anythin wahaha. But thinking back i kinda like the feeling where we explore new things together and learn through the same experiences. Hee. ^^ its gonna be a new set of challenge when we head to myyuki's hse on jayden's bday :X

4th april.
Movie marathon with my sis yest! Both free thats why we cant miss. There's 2extra tickets for rio. But surely no one wants the tickets except for young ppl like me :x anw caught LIMITLESS@1930 and then 3D RIO @2130. So fun! First at ps, then at cathy. Hee. Limitless is nice. The NZT CLEAR PILL is like everyone's dream! But the side effects are horrible too. Its an action movie and the male lead's eyes will penetrate into yours super nice colour! Bright clear blue! Very nice! As for rio, it is a funny flick. The birds are super cute. Especially those tiny fat short birdies! The eyes dam huge too. Haha. Im laughing throughout bcos i find them really lame. Eg. Birds have club too! The song not bad eh! Anw took cab home. Watching is not tired. The restlessness comes after everything. Haha.

8April.
Received sucha scary news in the morning. Shiro ringed me early in the morning, was walking to work and he told me his father had heart attack at 3am. His mum called him up and they sent him to the hospital. Wtf. My greatest fear actually happened to his dad. Zzz i shd take greater care for my dad. Sigh. So am going to visit his dad in the hospi tmr... Then we'll head to myyuki's hse. It will be totally sleepless for him cos he's currently working. And he'll fetch me to hospi aft his wrk at ard 10am. Zzz. Hope he can catch some sleep later... Anw just nice starhub has yu yan sang sale. Bought some tonics for heart probs and also for my dad. Spent 67bucks -.- and i've once again broken my acc floor.

11thapril.
Time files. I've visited shiro's dad at the hospi and i've attended jayden's bday party. Shiro's dad did the ballooning at CGH. THEY ARE SUCH GOOD LIARS AYE? Told my dad that they do not have such equipment in the hospi therefore have to defer him to tan tock seng. Zzz. Anw his dad seemed well and the blockage is caused by CIGARATTES. Excuse me, shiro please open your dam eyes and see! Zzz. Not only cancer but heart attack too. Really harms health ttm. Then we rode to simei. Bought the wooden clips for sharon. Then i saw HELIUM BALLOONS! The size is just right for shiro's box so i bought it. (: was so happy! And who the hell knows, after we rode 3mins under the blazing sun, we heard 'bomb' gone. The balloon exploded! NOOOO! T.T sigh then i became super sad. Zzz. No special thing for jayden. So am sad. Hope shiro able to get his licence this year so he can drive me there next year. And so i can buy a car FULL OF HELIUM BALLOONS! Buahaha. > w < plus his mum actually told me that she'll change the red car plate to black car plate when shiro obtain the lic. Super rich huh?! O.o

Guesst what?! TAMPINES AND PASIRRIS WILL BE HAVING BTO SALES LAUNCH IN MAY 2011! WTF I KNOW! LOLS! Now im worried abt the ballot number and whether the windows are full length. Argh... My worries are like a black hole. There's no bottom to it. Zzz. Somemore the application is in may. Confirm clash with my exams! Cold sweat. Suddenly so many worries i cant even finish reading my micro! Brain is filled with empty worries and thinking if im of right age to marry nots. HAHA! Afraid that i'll become like my mum.. Complain abt my father that he dont cook, dont wash. Do nothing at home. Scary. Trying to train shiro so he wont be like my father. Trying to avoid!

14thapril.
Time files. Another freakin month to my exams! Shit the time. And classes are still on going! I dont have time to study this week! Took half day tmr till monday, BUT, saturday will be wasted bcos i've got class and i promised my bimbs and freshies that i'll be there. :X too bad shiro working, otherwise i'll surely get him to fetch me back. Roar. Omg. Stress sia. I've yet to complete my micro. Few more pgs to go. Need to start practicing like seriously.. And there's still more, my NOTES. Zzz. Gotta buck up more, no pain no gain! And know what? Im meeting nigel and guys on good friday. Really dont feel like going cos am running out of time. Decided to get shiro to fetch me already. See how. Need to get home early. Argh.

16thmarch.
Sharon actually got angry with me yest. She's human, not angel. Lols. Anw it was over a person thats totally not worth it. Not even worth me mentioning that person.here. I'll skip that. Just say that i've said the wrong words and then i've decided to let the feelings only be within me. Yes life is full of constraints..

On my way to tp after lesson. Reached class super late today. Like 1445. Cos it was raining cats and dogs! Omg so i left house later. :X anw my taobao spree items arrived on wed! Went to tiong bahru before class. And the owner is late! :( and omg, the stuffs are like super heavy. Wth. Thou not as heavy as e prev xmas gifts, lols. And YAY, THIS IS MY FAVE BATCH OF CLOTHING. 2biker jackets for me. 1for shiro and a stripe long sleeved. Loves! And wow, the quality of shiro's jacket not bad sia. It is the lightest among the others. And the material looks nice too. When i showed him, he's so freakin happy! Hehe. Like suddenly, im proud of myself. XD I've warned him beforehand this time. Die die cannot let his father or bro has it. His cardigan is missing cos either one of them took, or rather borrow and never return! Zzz.

Have soaked and rised the jackets. Cant wait for them to dry up! Glee.


today: 17 april 2011
was v disappointed in shiro.
i have done my best to nag to threaten and to convinced.
yet his mindset is still the same.
now tt his father is showing him real life example of the consequences of smoking, he totally have no intention of quitting.
these words even came out of him, saying tt if he's single he can be carefree and do anything that he wants, like wtf.
and even told me to find some RICH and HEALTHY guy instead. whats wrg with his fking rotting brain? pissed.

those words proved many things.
mayb im no longer THAT impt in his eyes anymore.
he's now willing to let me go and rather be ALONE.
i can be easily taken out of his life, no prob with that bcos all he wants now is his unhealthy life and cigarettes. =---= that is the meaning of those words to me.

and for the first time in like 7years, im having doubts.
if his feelings changed, there's nothing more to be done.
stupid bloody fat asshole.